Hanging on (exquisitely)

Tender, funny, and human

Jan 14, 2024

This is the Kos newsletter: warm email notes from a friend. Finding the simple joy in parenthood, bodies, spirituality, creativity, and beauty. Sound like your jam? Subscribe below for weekly notes.

Somewhere between family, flu, festivities, and a new job

Oh, and walks. I go for walks.

Hello.

I would like to know how anyone has to time to do anything.

How do you navigate not quiiiite getting to 62.5% of the things you really thought you’d be able to get to in a day? Sometimes, I’m a shoulder shrugger about that stuff. But with this newsletter, which I really love and care about, I get sad/bummed out/guilty about it.

Maybe for the post-holidays this year, we can give each other the gift of an It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Just move on. Better luck next year. You tried. You did your best. Look at you! Look at all the other stuff you did. More importantly, look at the person you tried to be/were. Right? It’s fine if we don’t do all the things. Just the most important ones. And even then, not the end of the world.

I read this week that a study showed that there isn’t a significant difference in kids raised with different parenting styles. This is huge. Every parent thinks their parenting is the best (or the worst) and hey! sounds like kids kinda just go and do. Of course, there are indicators like books in the home, or a parent(s) education level, satisfactory nutrition, and psychological safety but it sounds like the nitty gritty parenting styles are null. Reminds me of this reality show, which was a surprisingly fascinating look at how different families raise their children.

Last night my 5 year old and I told stories of our days back and forth. Together, we knew the story of 6:30 AM-7:30 AM but our stories diverged at 7:30 when he boarded a giant yellow school bus with his brothers. His retelling of snack time, rainy recesses, eating half his hamburger at lunch, a gingerbread man game, and a quiet bus ride home was the highlight of my day. It’s good for kids and brains to review the day. But it’s even better for their parents because it’s hilarious and curious and sweet to learn about their world through their own words. He said things like,

“I sat on the log all recess. Nobody wanted to play.”
and “I ate half my burger and half my milk—not chocolate”
and “I want you to wave (at) me the whole time I drive away (on the bus)”
and “These pants never get hot.”

Little insights into his worries and favorite things. Little phrases that remind me how we’re all our each other’s whole world. And how important it is to wear comfortable pants. As I told him about my day between 7:30 AM-2:00 PM he laughed out loud. His eyes were big. Once I mentioned another work video meeting though, he interrupted me and asked about when we were going to see more Christmas lights. (Tomorrow night.)

He checked on his brothers’ board game and got another drink of water. Cuddled back down in his blankets, eyes droopy. “Tell me so many more stories, Mama,” he said.

And I did.

Reading lately

Fox 8: Exquisite. Short story in the voice of a fox. Tender, funny, human. George Saunders, who are you?

The Burnout by Sophie Kinsella: Fun, light.

Phoebe’s Diary by Phoebe Wahl: Darling but a bit disappointing.

I Have Some Questions for You by Rebecca Makkai: Wanted to love but didn’t. The plot felt winding and I never liked the main protagonist. Should I still read Great Believers?

Craig Mod’s latest newsletter. I was so touched.

Watching lately

Love is Blind Sweden: give me everything all at once in this franchise.

Family Stone: whew, love this movie. need to make this an annual tradition.

Happy New Year

2024! You’re here. Couldn’t be more relieved. I know 2023 was a mixed bag because I avoid thinking about it. lol. You too? Some wonderful things happened but some yucky stuff too. So happy January is here and we’re off to a fresh start.

Like so many of us, new year is more like January 15 this year, not January 1, because of sickness. Nobody feels like making goals and setting resolutions when they’re sick in bed. So! It’s January 14. Hoping to jot down some goals this week and pick a one-word theme.

Have you picked yours yet? Do you make New Year’s resolutions?

Kos